**********TOO MANY DAMN PEOPLE!!!!***********
So, we were going to go camping at Enchanted Rock, but unfortunately, there's to many damn people in Austin and they have booked up Enchanted Rock for the next four months. I'm sorry, maybe I'm a little loopy, but when did you have to start making reservations to go camping? I really dislike Austin and how large it's grown.
Next thing you know you'll have to make reservations to go to McDonalds or Taco Bell. Maybe we'll need to make reservations to get gas here in the near future. Maybe we'll soon have to make reservations two weeks in advance to take a crap. Austin and it's surrounding areas disgust me lately. It's like mold, and the mold spreads on cheese.
So, I called Troy last night and asked where we had all gone camping so many years ago (Inks Lake, and Lake Buchanan), in hopes that you don't need reservations to camp there. If that's the case we'll be camping out over there for the weekend. If not I'm going over to LCRA or the Texas Parks and Wildlife Commission and piss on their building...
Reserve that!!
More to come...
Thursday, April 10, 2003
********NOW, WHO WOULD SAY I'M AN ALIEN?*********
I mean, really, how many items do I match on this little test?
But notice Bat Boy there... he's about to go up in our little living room...
So, Kris and I went to Academy last night and picked up the taj-ma-tent and some other requirements for "roughing it" at Enchanted Rock for the weekend, such as a 48 quart cooler (for food and cantaloupes), the taj-ma-tent of course (a 9' by 11' tent, with two lockers on the side to hide our stuff from raccoons), mag-lites (since Bear stole Debbie, the black mag), a lantern (to investigate those pesky yeti's that come stompin' by), some pecan pies (because they're tasty), and sleeping bags. Now, I've heard horror stories about trying to set up the taj-ma-tent, so we'll give it a shot, otherwise we'll be sleeping in my truck.
More to come....
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
*******OPERATION HOMEFRONT STORM... A SUCCESS!********
After a complete debacle, I, with the help of my girlfriend Kris, and old friend Toungate, managed to liberate several large items! But it was Saturday night that my misadventures began….
I get a voicemail from Kris saying that her mall (Highland) is packed solid and that it closely resembles sixth street. This worries me since Highland isn't exactly the safest of malls. So, I haul myself up there, just to find to my shock, that she's completely correct. Cars are basing, booming, and bouncing. I had to park at a bank a few blocks over and make a mad dash through the parking lot to avoid the state troopers and all other law enforcement agency type personnel, which were swarming around the mall, some even on horseback. I narrowly evaded several Travis County agents of the law as I crept into the highly secured mall only to walk Kris out to her car. To my disappointment, it came to my attention that she wasn't there! She had already left.
Now, this somewhat concerns me because she's particularly, well, hard headed. The only saving grace were the amount of cops outside, walking down every path and chasing out the hood-rats and gangsta' thugs. Actually, if I hadn't been so worried about Kris, it would've been kinda amusing, like that car show they used to have out in Round Rock every Saturday night by Whataburger. Yeah, the one where Rob's corvette broke down after the speedbump...
Eh... okay, I'll admit it, I was a little upset that she left so early, especially when I had come down there to walk her out. Like I said before, that mall isn’t the safest place, shouldn't it be the boyfriend that get's the shiv while she runs away to drive off to safety? Oh well, call me stupid, or chivalrous.. I guess the two go hand in hand.
********THE MOVE*********
Okay, so Sunday comes around, and we rally the troops and head to Bear's Den (since it's no longer my mothers house) to liberate whatever we could. Well, dues to Bear's cracked out sense of organization, we only found half the futon in the garage, the other half, as he says, is located in the mystery storage unit several miles away. So we're still using camping chairs as living room furniture.
Here's what we managed to liberate from the household:
All my books
Both bookcases
My basketball shoes (so I can run some game... yo.)
My dress shoes
More antique/retro phones
All the antiques (except that antique fan... Bear still has that hidden, and the rocking chair)
The things I will, oh yes, will get...
My office aliens, lamps, toys, and figurines
All 16 of my hawaiian shirts
The futon (unless we can come up with some money to buy a damn couch)
My dresser
So, while standing in the living room, while Bear was trying to shut our little operation down, he kept repeating himself by saying that I had been the one procrastinating about picking up the rest of my things. I just stood there, while Kris and I gawked at each other, and at which time I proceeded to publicly humiliate him in front of Jennifer, her husband, their child, my mother, Kris, Toungate, and myself. My point that made him shut up was that I had been, for the past month and a half, attempting to get my crap back. However, they had been sick for a month, and then snuck off to get married.. Repeatedly I attempted to make plans to get my stuff out, and repeatedly was told not to come over because they were sick, or going somewhere, or whatever...
So, after much bitching and complaining, Bear had to spend a whole WHOPPING THIRTY MINUTES assisting Toungate and I, so we wouldn't mess up his cracked out organizational system, and get back only half of what I went there for.
Toungate, Kris, and I moved the rest. Poor John, he had to sit there... watching us! I hope he's okay.
Schmuck.
More to come....
****THE SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES LOCATED IN THE RING!!!****
So, later on, I pick up Toungate. Kris, Toungate, and I precede to watch The Ring. Now for me, this is the like the 7th time I've seen it. For Kris, I believe it's like the third (since she's still to frightened to watch it by herself) and for Toungate it's the first. Well, during the scene where Rachael freaks out the horse and it runs off the barge only to get chopped up for the glue factory by swimming through the propellers, where the water turns red and you hear screams... if you play the movie at 1/16th, right before it fades out and moves on to the next scene, there's a fraction of a second where it shows the ring... cre-epy!
So, we accidentally uncovered several more throughout the movie... If you've already seen it, rent it again to check out the subliminal messages! Wicked awesome.
Friday, April 04, 2003
********OPERATION: HOMEFRONT STORM!***********
My mother and Bear are holding my hawaiian shirts, two tone doc martens, and my bookcases hostage not to mention all my office alien lamps, figures, and posters. Tomorrow I make my first strike to get it all back. Negotiations haven't worked, as I'm sure I've explained to everyone in the past at one time or another. We may even have a couch like thing in our living room before it's over, providing we can have someone run defense on Bear while I scale the mountain of crap in the garage to get to it.
My list of things to liberate:
All my alien figures, lamps, posters, figurines, etc.,
My other three pair of shoes (airwalks, two tone docs, and dress shoes)
All my hawaiian shirts (16 of them)
My fabulous porn collection (to be used as fuel for the fire during the 2003 camp-a-thon, JUST KIDDING! Do you think I would actually burn those?? Are you mad?? Those are all collectibles!!)
My bookcases (2) (so I can pick my books off the floor and Kris can use the new space for more ceramic frogs and pumpkins)
My bed, because sleeping on the floor for four months tends to cut off my circulation
The futon which will serve as a temporary couch so I can stop sitting on the floor
And the futon mattress, because I think it might hurt sitting on bars for extended periods of time
My mo-ped
My bazooka
... and all the whips, chains, and riding crops that I left over there.
And whatever else I can fit into any cars that I have going with me at that time.
In other news...
Awwww... how cute! They found a baby kraken!
Just in case you forgot what the kraken was...
********DOH!*************
There goes my concept of time again....
Have a nice weekend everyone... More to come....
Thursday, April 03, 2003
****PRELIMARY CAMP-A-THON 2003 EXPEDITION*****
Next Friday night Kris and I should be heading down to Enchanted Rock to check out the scene to see if it would work for our 2003 camp-a-thon trip. I think we're planning to have the camp-a-thon take place on the last weekend of April.. hopefully by then, the days will be a little less windy, warm days, and comfortable nights.
I'll be emailing everyone to give them the exact dates and time we're leaving and whatever else might entail. Should make for an interesting trip providing everyone that agreed to go actually does.
In other news....
There's a sock monster living in our apartment. He's black and hairy and named Riddick and the little creature has devoured almost every pair of socks that I had in our place. I got tired of wearing one white, one gray sock so I finally went out last night and bought myself some brand new ones.
I have no idea what's going on.
More to come...
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
********56 minutes left of work....**********
...and I'm scared to go home. Kris snapped at me earlier today regarding the A/C.. she just said she was hot! I recommended that she turn on the A/C for a little while to cool down, she snapped "I don't want to turn on the A/C!!!".... so I said... "Ooooo... uh, okay honey... I gotta go back to work now..."
Figuring she was having a rough day or something... next thing I know she's bawling. I have no idea what's going on.
Uh... did I miss something here?
So yes, I'm scared to go home at the moment.
I need a happy hour.
More to come...
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
********A MUCH BETTER DAY************
Okay.. so my sales are up. That's good. I got a small bonus of $200 some dollars coming my way. Plus some more that should be coming in a few weeks. So that's good news. I get off at 5:30 today... still more good news.
Unfortunately, the new dog Sadie, is still stinking up the damn place. The apartment is still a wreck, and though I keep hearing how everything is going to be fine, sleep is still a hard thing to come by.
I'm still irritable, and when Kris and I talk about moving into a new place in the upcoming seven months, she gets huffy with me.
DAMMIT WE HAVE A ROTWEILER/LAB!!! That damn dog is going to get big! And I somehow don't think a one bedroom shack of an apartment is going to be enough room for that dog. And instead of spending money on luxury items, like, I dunno, a couch maybe? Or perhaps food for us? No! We're going to be spending money on DOG TOYS AND DOG FOOD!
At least the dogs won't starve... and when Kris and I die of malnutrition the dogs can live another two weeks off of our rotting corpses.
She had originally wanted to get some African frogs or something.. Hey! I can take that! I throw some crickets and bugs in there once a week or whatever and they're fine! No big mess to clean up! Yeah, they may smell, but I can just throw a lid on em or open the window or something...
However, while potty training a dog... the smell doesn't go away. That smell is stained into the damn carpet. For all of eternity.
There's dog food and water all over the floor in the kitchen. There's piss all over the news papers in the living room. And since she wanted the dog, I figured she'd be taking care of it. Like I said in a previous blog, I thought one dog was enough. Two is one to many for the likes of us right now.
But hey.. I don't know anything right? I'm much to paranoid and wound tight. My opinion doesn't matter.
More to come...
