**********A VERY LONG WEEKEND***********
Actually, all of last week was incredibly long... Started with the "secret" wedding between my mother and John.... then had a blow out and had to borrow money to fix that, then... drum roll please...
Saturday night at Bubba's BBQ, some guy brought in a bunch of puppies....
So of course, Kris got us one. It's a rot/lab mix. Not that our apartment isn't already small enough. Not that I already have to climb over tons of crap to get to the kitchen not to mention our damn bed.. not to mention that we're already poor... not to mention our apartment already smells like piss... we have to take in another animal.
Don't get me wrong.. I love animals. But I think Riddick was enough, in fact, he was more then a handful. We were just starting to get on our feet without serious help from others, and she get's another dog. Because "She's so cute and all alone!"... okay... well then you can wash and change the sheets and comforter when the dog pisses on everything. Last night we had to sleep on a bare bed with a small fleece blanket because the puppy managed to piss on everything in the house.
So, today, I'm tired, aggravated, in pain from sleeping in awkward positions, and in a generally bad mood. And since I work, of course, in a call center, I'm in an even more pissed off mood. Today is not good. I certainly hope this week is better.
More to come...
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
*******NOW I'M PISSED*******
If they attack our milk, I'm a dead man....
In other news... Yep. It's finally happening. My mother and Bear are tying the knot. They're flying out to Vegas tomorrow morning to get married. I really wish they could've found a UFO chapel and gotten married by the high council member N'darzog Mibop. That would've at least been interesting.
I guess congratulations are in order!
Still a pity though about not getting married in a UFO....
More to come...
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
******* A QUICK POEM ABOUT WORK *******
Ahem...
Stupid people everywhere,
They make me want to pull my hair,
Claw my eyes,
Scratch my face,
I want to knock stupid customers all over the place.
Thank you, thank you. I have some more in the works.. I'm thinking of them everytime I answer the phone here at work...
More to come...
Friday, March 21, 2003
****NEW SIGNS IN CASE WE'RE ATTACKED BY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION****
Just in case we should be attacked, heed these simple warnings and maybe you'll make it out alive.
My friend at work sent me this link... I think it was the only thing that kept us sane all day.. the phones are busted, so it's kind of like a dam being busted.. we're flooded with phone calls... AND THEY'RE ANNOYING AS HELL!
We finally got around to getting rid of that piece of crap DVD player that we had and buying something that actually works.. and boy does it! It plays movies and even has one of them new fangled re-motes! But, oh, how I would have loved to drop that piece of shit down three flights of stairs... it vibrated to the point that it would fall off our shelf... it would taunt me in my dreams... but hey, at least it's out of our place now!
We managed to get through Serendipity (which was actually pretty damn cool) and Shallow Hal. Now, when the movie came out, my buddy Toungate was referred to through our degenerate crowd, as the main character Hal (Jack Black).... which, before seeing the movie I could not fathom in the slightest. But after watching the movie, I finally understood. Watch it and see!
OPTIMUS PRIME TO ATTACK THE IRAQ'S!!!
Actually, I have no idea how I feel about the war... the only thing I do know is that I think it was handled VERY poorly from the beginning. I can just see all kinds of bad generating from this.
More to come.... I hope.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
*********BATTLE ROYALE: THE HAIRCUT SAGA***********
I want to have my haircut done the way I want it done.. shorter for this damn heat. Kris got pissed that I wanted to go somewhere else rather then let her cut it. I have a rather important engagement coming up and would like it done professionally... not that she does a bad job, but I need it done correctly. I didn't even say this to her, knowing that it would offend her... But to no avail. Now she's pissed.
The T-Shirt guy prevails! Down with stupid ass rules!
Oh man, I was searching through strange news articles... Just read what I found!
"In November, the Pentagon rejected a Freedom of Information Act request by a reporter to see an internal training video, claiming that the law allowed it to be withheld. The video is the 22-minute "Freedom of Information Act / The People's Right to Know," which is utilized to teach Pentagon employees how to carry out the maximum-disclosure purpose of the act. [Sarasota Herald-Tribune-AP, 2-13-03] "
1984's a comin' I tell ye. George Orwell, he knew what he be talkin' about.
More to come...
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
*******POST HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!!***********
This weekend was more or less a blur. Friday, met with my father who gave me EZ-CHEESE AND A 24 PACK OF COKES! I ate and drank like a king this weekend! And I have salsa and chips for late night movie fest's in the near future... actually, I don't think the salsa and chips will even last till then because I'm hungry and that sounds good. Sounds like dinner tonight!
Yesterday, of course, was St. Patrick's day! Which meant that after work, I picked Kris up and we proceeded to drink green beer and eat at Bennigan's. Interesting evening, but due to the course of events throughout the weekend, I was still exhausted and we ended up passing out around 10:45.
Friday night we stayed up until 6:30AM... and Kris had me up and about by 10:30... 4 hours of sleep doesn't work on such a person as myself. I enjoy sleep. I cherish it.
Saturday bought my little green alien and went to Kim's wedding! Congratulations to Kim by the way!
Sunday, cleaned the apartment... slept.. ate.... had taco bell and tried to find a modem to hook the computer up to the internet.. but to not avail. We'll get it this week.
Work work and more work.
More to come....
****THE SOUL HARVESTER******
Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch--- What it's really about!!!
My friend at work found that... we sat there and laughed... then we cried because that's probably what's really happening.
More to come...
Friday, March 14, 2003
***********IT'S ORWELL'S NIGHTMARE COME TRUE!!!*************
Our clothes and shaving cream are watching us!!
Actually, I dunno how that would really work, but you know me.. I'm paranoid as hell anyway.
Have a good weekend all! Gimme a call if you want to do anything!
More to come...
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
****MY HOLIDAY HAS ARRIVED!! (BESIDE VALENTINES!)****
New Mexico has finally recognized my breed of people!!
Well, since the job market in Austin is at an all time suck level, I'm working at another call center... and anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely love call centers (yes, sarcasm is fully intended). For eight straight hours I get to listen to the following scenario:
Cust: Hi.... need report... (drooling sound follows)..
Me: Okay, sure, can I have your subscriber number please?
Cust: Huh?
Me: Subscriber number..
Cust: 12345
Me: No sir, you're subscriber number..
Cust: Wassat?
Me: It's the number that was assigned to your company so you can order reports... what's your company name?
Cust: Huh?
Me: Your company name sir...
Cust: Oh... ABC company.
Me: Okay, can I get that DUNS number from you?
Cust: Huh... (more drooling with wiping of mouth involved)
Me: The company you're looking for... They're DUNS number...
Cust: Wait... hold on....
Me: Sir, I'm afraid you are much to stupid to be calling us..
Cust: Huh?
Me: Your DUMB, I mean your DUNS number (snickering by me)
Cust: You don't have it?
Me: No.
Cust: You sure?
Me: Yes.
Cust: Huh?
... silence from my end as I try to stop sobbing...
Cust: oh.... I think I'm going to have to call you back... need my medication to continue this conversation...
Me: Thanks for calling....
Okay, nothing wrong with not knowing information... I assume many of you out there don't know what a DUNS number is, but if you happen to call D&B on a regular basis, you should know.. I mean, if you call your cell phone company, they're going to want some pertinent information.... LIKE YOUR NAME!!! Or possibly YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER!!!!
Anyway...
And with the insufficient training and 30 people yakking directly behind me about Fear Factor, my job is eight hours of constant annoyance.. but what's different, huh? The whole world knows I dislike call centers anyway...
More to come...
Friday, March 07, 2003
********HORROR MOVIES!!***********
Went out and bought `The Ring' last night... whoa. I believe it got a 73% fresh from rottentomatoes and it came with like a 20 minute added film that explains a little more about why it's so jacked up... actually, it didn't really explain much, I think they just dropped it in there to mess you up a little more...
That movie, in my mind anyway, is like some kind of surrealistic nightmare on television. Samora is by far the creepiest character I've seen in quite some time. Before I popped the movie in, I was thinking of the last time I saw it... Kris and I's first real date. I thought it was pretty messed up as it was, but, since it's been so long ago, the edge had kind of dulled a bit. Heh heh. From the minute I put the movie in, it starts messing with your head. And what's worse, if you've already seen the movie, is that we have our old TV sitting right by our bed... Kris had to cover it up she got so paranoid that Samora was going to come crawling out of the TV. I swear, that thing must have subliminal messages put into it somewhere. Eeeee....
Okay.. and check this out! For those few people that I subjected to the horror of Dawn of the Dead.... George Romero's second cult classic, and probably one of the longest three hour stretches of my life... They're making a remake!!!
Dawn of the Dead or Those Stupid People Who Ask Stupid Questions in the Mall !!!
Everyone have a nice weekend! Enjoy the weather!
More to come...
Thursday, March 06, 2003
********WEATHERMEN ARE WRONG.... AGAIN!*******
And this time I'm really pissed off.. I was actually looking forward to a day of rolling thunderstorms, lighting storms, and possible catastrophe in Austin while I'm tucked away nice and quietly in my little cube or "work area" that I've been placed in like some kind of toy for the masses of stupid people that call up slurping coffee over the phone to answer their most dire questions like some kind of walking, talking Magic 8 Ball of the business world.
But nooooo.... I look outside and it's friggin' beautiful!!! I went outside to smoke a cigarette and felt the sun attempting to burn my retina out. Man... If I were rich I would enjoy being unemployed.
I've been reading up on sleep disorders, since I tend to talk in complete sentences when I'm asleep... watch out! I'm gonna be the next Edgar Cayce! Here's an article I found regarding sleep disorders that was just informative enough to be completely worthless.
More to come....
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
*****IT'S ALL ABOUT THE... PINK??******
Wha'? Okay, so they messed with the face of money starting back in 96-00... now they feel they have to do it again and start adding colors to our money?? Not that the new face of $100 bills didn't look like monopoly money, but now they're going to add the color scheme from the game as well? My prediction? By 2013 we can dig out all of that old monopoly money and go ahead and use it...
Check it out!
Pink, Green, and Blue.... Kinda like a kid's cereal!
Still, in other news.... If they tell me one more time not to get onto the internet at work I'm going to bust a fuse and chase them around the office with a damn monitor. Or perhaps a keyboard.. yeah... that'd be easier to swing and hit them in the head with. While in training, the advisor explains how looking at the internet is frowned upon... Oh c'mon.... Every person I've sat by has had at least three different websites up and none are related to work... I mean... I can understand if it was porn or something...
And in morning events.... I've fallen to the point where I'm so poor that I'm drinking coffee at work just to keep awake... nope... no cokes, no Dr. Pepper's, no Jack-In-the-Box or Taco Cabana... No... Those are now reserved for special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and other such celebrations.
Oh, yeah, and what did the sun finally do yesterday just as I finished blogging? Oh yeah, it had to come out and mock me.... And what does it do again today??? Yeah, you guessed it... the current weather is dark, foreboding, and almost cold. At least it's not sleeting again. I love snow, I just hate driving in ice.
Okay, one more before I shut up...
My distaste for authority just keeps on building.
More to come....
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
****ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A THING CALLED SUN......****
I know I'm going to regret this later, considering that I really enjoy dark, cloud filled skies, but c'mon... A person can only take so much... I haven't seen the daylight in like three weeks! My usual pasty whiteness is now just disturbing. Little children are running away from me screaming to their parents to save them from the horrific zombie walking down the road. With my dark sunken eyes, super pasty skin, not quite so menacing as really annoyed eyes and haggared walk from my leg falling asleep, I don't blame them. I'm afraid that if the sun were to come out right now, it would flake my skin away from my body like some kind of corpse! I think the Austin weathermen deserve a beatdown. I thought today was supposed to be partly sunny and like 64.... Doesn't feel that way to me... Doesn't look that way either. Now watch, later on today, the sun's going to break through and warm this damn town up, just to spite me. I'm feeling more and more exhausted... no energy from the lack of sun and UV rays.... When that sun comes out, my eyes are going to burn right out of my head... Just watch.
*********HAPPY FAT TUESDAY AND MARDI GRAS!!!***************
Since there is no longer a reason for me to stagger amongst the drunken masses on sixth street so I can look at women flashing their boobs (yes, I said boobs) for plastic beads, I'll just tell everyone else that goes to be careful... I don't think APD has forgotten that little mass panic and confusion episode (aka The Riot of 2001) and I'm willing to bet they'll be down there again with full riot gear on with helicopters and searchlites to boot. I'll be having my own Fat Tuesday party tucked away safely at home with Kris. Heh heh ahem....
In other news.... I need to get paid again. That last paycheck went way to damn quick. Rent, electricity, insurance... left me with a whopping $20, just enough for a pack of smokes and some Jack-In-The-Box. Mmmmm.... Sourdough Jack, why do you torment me so?!
Okay... I'm going outside to hold up a cardboard sign and attempt to dance for some change to buy a coke.
More to come....
Monday, March 03, 2003
*********MY GIRLFRIEND VS EBOLA 2003************
Didnt' do squat this entire weekend. Not a damn thing. Kris and I celebrated our three month anniversary this weekend, but due to rent, and various bills, we couldn't really afford to paint the town. So we stayed in and rented some movies, pretty fun actually, until that damn Ice House (the crem dela crem of cheap beer, one notch above woodgrain paint remover) kicked in and KICKED ASS! We rented "In Dreams" and "Death to Smoochy" which I gotta say was Robin Williams at his best, snuggled up, and relaxed. Until that third Ice House kicked in and kicked my girlfriend in the head. She was out by 2AM, and now that I'm officially old, 2AM was about 2 hours past my sleepy time. Finally got her into bed and passed our shortly afterwards.
Woke up Sunday, had a huge breakfast, bacon, biscuits, and all the best stuff available from the chuck wagons out front, and continued to do absolutely nothing. With what little cash we had available, I suggested going to see a movie or go out and visit friends, but with the Ebola that she had contracted somewhere during the course of Saturday night, we weren't able to have any of that. Well, Kris is feeling better today.... unfortunately, I'm not. I've now contracted the Ebola, and my stomach is a churning. Feel's like little Clix characters are trying to push their way out of my gut.
Four hours to go until I'm off my leash and can head home for some EZ Cheese and crackers, a good dose of The Simpsons, and a bed to crawl into and die, or pass out.... whichever comes first.
More to come...
